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The Woodville Republican
Woodville, Mississippi
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November 17, 1923     The Woodville Republican
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November 17, 1923
 

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,,,,. Three Men and a Maid SAM IN ACTION Mrs, Horace IIlgnett world- famous writer on theosophy, au- thor ot "The Spreading Light.'" etc.. etc,. arrives In New York on a lecturing tour. Eustace. her son, is with her. UTlndles. ances- tral home of the Hignetts, is his. so her life Is larTly devoted to keeping him u/married. Enter her nephew. Sam. son of Sir Mal- |aby Marlowe. the eminent Lon- don lawyer. It is arranged that Sam and Eustace shall sail to- gether on the Atlantic the next day. Enter Bream Mortimer. American, son of a friend of an insufferable American named B etnett, who has been pestering Mrs. Hignett to lease VIndles. Bream informs her that Wll- he]mtna Bennett is waiting for Eustaee at the Little Church ROund the Corner Bream him- self la in love with Wllhelmina Mrs. Hlgnett marches off to Euu- lace's room, The scene sfilfts to +the Atlantic at her pier. Sam. heading for the gangplank, meets a glorious, red-headed girl. with Whom he instantly falls in love. thughherdogblteshtm. Eustace appears, heart-broken It appears that his mother had "'pinched his trousers" and delayed the cere- mony, whereupon Wilhelmlna had declared the weddtnlg off. CHAPTER I I--Continued. --3..- Sum4ml Marlowe was not one of those who pass aloofly by when there is excitement toward- To dash to the rail and shove a fat man in a tweed cap to one side was with hln the work of a moment. He had thus v.n excel- lent view of what was going on--a view which he Improved the next in- stant by climbing up and kneeling on the rail. There was a man In the water, a man whose upper section, the only one visible, was clad In a blue Jersey. He wore a derby hat, nd from t!me o tlme us he battled with the waves, he would pu up a hand and adjust this more firmly on his head. A. dressy swimmer. Scarcely had he taken In tiffs spec- tacle when Marlowe became aware of e girt lie had met on the dock. She standing a few feet away leaning the rail wI*L wide eyes and : I Like everybody else she into the water. As Sam looked at her the thought crossed hls mind that here was u won- derful chance of making the most tre- lnendous impression on this glrl. What would she not think of a man who  reckless of his own safety, dived in and went boldly to the rescue? And :, there were men. no doubt, who would :; enough to do iL he thought, to shift back to a po- of greater safety. + t the fat man in tlle cap, incensed at having been of the front row, made his t'hge. He had but been crouching, spring. Now he sprang, which that young man hung, as it were. between sea and sky; then he Shot down over the rail to Join the man in the blue Jersey, who had Just discovered that his hat was not on Straight and had paused to adjust It once more with a few skillful [ouches of the finger. * * a S * In the brief interval of time which Marlowe had .spent in the "stateroom. chatting with Eustace about the iat- ter's bruised'soul, some rather curious  things had been happening above, Not extraordinary, perhaps, but curious. These must now be related. A story, if it is to grip the reader, should, I am aware, go always forward. It It should leap from like the citamois of the ere Is one thing I hate. it you Interested In thapter one and then cuts to tell you all grandfather. Nexertheless, this point we 'e  must return ting deposited stateroom, the out again on about the time was beginning his 'By now the hustle which precedes the departure of an ocean liner was at t height. Hoarse wlces were crying,, AII for the stLore!" The gangway Was thronged with friends of passen- gels returning to land..The crowd on the pter waved fl gs and handkerchiefs lind shouted anlntelilgibly. Members Df the crew stood alertly by the gang- pltnk ready to draw It in gs soon as the last seer-off,, had crossed It. The girl went to the rail and azed at the shore. There was an )ression on her face. She By P. G. WODEHOUSE )mrright by George IL Dotes Ga. timers from a warm-hearted populace. Your New York crowd loves a liberal provider. One says that the man hurled the bills in the direction of the deck, and that was exactly wtmt he did. But the years lind robbed ills pitching-arm of tile limber strength which, forty sum- Tilers back, had made ]litn tile terror of opposing boys' basebnll teams. He still retained a fair (.ontrol I)ut lie lacked steam. The Imndkerchief w|th its prech)us contents shot in r. grace- ful are toward the deck. fell short by a go(x1 six feet and drpped into the water, wimre It anfolded like a lily. sendln twenty-dollar hills, ten-dollar hills, flve-dolhlr bills, and an a.ort. sent of ones floating over the wave* lets. The cheers ' of the citizenry changed to cries of horror. The girl uttered a plalntPce shriek. The boat moved on. It was at this moment that Mr. Oscar Swanson. one of the thriftiest souls who ever came out of Sweden, per calved that the chance of a lifetime had arrived for adding substantially to his little savings. By profession he was one of those men who eke out a precarious llvelilmod hy rowing dream- A Moment Later He Had Rieen to the Suace and Was Gathering Up M,#ney With Both Hands. Ily about the waterfront In skiffs. He was doing so now: and. as he sat medi- tatively in his skiff, having done his best to give the liner a good send-off by paddling round her In circles, the pleading face of a twenty-dollar bill leered up at him. Mr. Swgason was nbt the man to resist'the.appeaL He uttered a sharp bark of ecstasy, pressed his derby hat firmly upon his brow and dived tn. A moment later he had risen to the surface and was gathering np money with herb bands. He was still busy wlth this con- genial task when a tremendous splash at his side sent him under again; and. rising for a second time, he observed with not a little cimgrin that he had been Joined by a young man In a blue flannel suit with an Invisible strlpe. "Svenski" exclaimed Mr. Swenson, or whatever It is that natives of Swe- den exclaim In moments of Justifiable annoyance. He resented the advent of this newcomer. He had been getting along fine and had had the situation well in hand. To him Sam Marlowe represented Competition, and Mr. Swanson desired no competitors in hls treasure-seekhg enterprise. He tray- sis, thought Mr. Swenson, the fastesl who travels alone, Sam Marlowe had a touch of the philosopher in him. He had the ability to adapt himself to circumstanee It had been no part of his plans to come whizzing down off the rail into this soup-like water which install in equal parts of oll and des rats: but. now that he was her. he was prepared to make the best of the situation. Swimming, It happened, was one of the things he did best. and somewhere among his belongings at home was a tarnished pewter cup which he had won at school in the "Saving Life" competition. He kne exactly what to do You get behind the victim and grab. him firmly under ILls arms. and then you start SWim- sing on your back. A moment later the astonished Mr. Swenson,'who, be. lng practicall) amph|blaus, had nat anticipated that an)one would have that It was fair competition. This pulling your rival away from the h)ot so that you could grab It yourself-- thus shockingly had the man misin- te-preted Sam's motives--was another thing altogether, and his stoat soul would have none of it. He began lm- iaediately to struggle with all the violence at his disposal. His large, hairy hands came out of the water and swung hopefully in the direction where lie assumed his assailant's face to be. Sam was not unprepared for this display. His researelms In tim art of life-saving had taught him that your drowning man frequently st:uggied against his best Interests. In which case, cruel to be kind, one simply stunned the blighter. He decided to stun Mr. Swanson, though, if he had known that gentleman more intimately and had been aware that lie had the reputation of possessing the thickest head on die water-front he would have realimed the magnitude of the taslL Friends of Mr. Swenson, in convivial moments, had frequently endeavored to stun him with bottles, boots and bits of lead piping, and had gone away de- pressed by failure. Sam, ignorant of this, attempted to do the job with clenched fist, which he brought down as smartly as possible on the crown of the other's derby hat. It was the worst thing he could have done. Mr. Swanson thought highly of his hat and this brutal attack upon it confirmed his gloomiest apprehensions. Now thoroughly convinced that the only thing to do was to sell his life dearly, he wrenched himself round, seized his assailant by the neck, twined his arms about his middle, and accompanied him below the surface. By the time he had swallowed his first pint and was beginning on his second, Sam was reluctantly compelled to come to the conclusion that this was the end. The thought irritated him unspeakably. This" he felt, was just the silly, contrary way things always happened. Why should it be tie who was perishing like this? Why not Eustace Hlgnett? Now there was a fellow wiles this sort of thing would Just have suited. Broken-hetirted Eus- tare HIgnett would have looked on all this as a merciful release. He paused In his reflections to try to disentangle the more prominent of Mr. Swenson's limbs from about him. By this time he was sure that he had never met anyone he disliked so in- tensely as Mr. Swensonnot even his Aunt Adellne. The man was a'human octopus. Sam could count seven dis- tinct, legs twined round him and at least as many arms. It seemed to him that he was being done to death in his prime by a solid platoon of Swedes. He put his whole soul into one last effort . something seemed to give he was free. Pausing only to try to kick Mr. Swanson in the face. Sam shot to the surface.. Some- thing hard and sharp prodded him in the head. Then something caught the collar of his coat ; and. finally, sPOUt- lug like a whale, he found himself dragged upward and over the side of a boat. * S Q S S S The time which Sam had spent with Mr. Swenson below the surface had been brief, bnt it had been long enough to enable the whole floating population 'Yeesir, You're Wet ! Wet's tha Word, All Right." of the North river to converge on the scene in scows, skiffs, htunches, tugs and other vessels. The fact tl)at the water in that vicinity was crested with currency had not escaped the notice of one who was wal!ng to appear. Her demeanor of Marinas at the Moated cometh not I" she seemed She glanced at her then scanned the dock was a rrtle as the gang-pIank inboard and ,'as deposited on The glrl uttered a little Then suddenly her and she began to wave to attract the attention of an man with a red fuce made red- who had Just forced his the edge of tile (lock and p at the passenger*lined rail. The boat had now begun to move slowly out of its slip, backing into the river. Hop;nih:d been cast off, and all eer-wi g strip of water ap- peared between the vessel and tile It was now thttt tile san on sighted the girl. She gestlcu- at him. He gesticulated at her. helpless and baffled, but showed himself a perso of re- t a pleasantly rotund wad of He reduced a hand. tied up the bll's in and of his tile cool impertinence to try and say# him from drowning, found himself seized from behind and towed v:gor. ously away from a ten-dollar hlll which he had almost succeeded in grasping. The spiritual agony caused by this assault rendered hhn merci. fully dumb: though, even had he con- trived to utter rhe rich Swedish o.ths which occurred to him. his remarks could scarcely have been heard, for the crowd on the dock yes clleering as one man. They baC often paid good money to see far les gripping sights In the movie. They roare' applause. The liner, meanwhile, c.ntiaued to move stodgily out Into mldrlver. The only drawhack to Ihese life- saving competlthms at school, consid- ered from the standpoint of fitting the competitors for the prohlems of after- life, is that the object saved on such occasions is a leather dummy, and of all things in this world a leather dummy is perhaps the most placid and phlegmatic. It differs in many respects from an emotional Swedish gentleman, six foot high and constructed through- out of steel and india rubber, who IS being lugged away from cash which he has been regarding in the light of a legacy. Indeed, It would not be hard to find a respect In which it does not differ. So far from lying inert in Sam's arms and allowing himself to be saved in a quiet and orderl man- Swensen all the he has Swan- of these navigators and.they haft gone to it as one nmn. First in the race came the tug Reuben S. Watson. the kipper Of which, following a famous precedent, had taken his little daugh- ter to bear him company. It was to this fact that Marlowe really owed his rescue. Women have often a vein of senthnent In them where men can only see the hard business side of a situa- tion; and it was the skipper's daugh- ter who insisted that the family boat- hook. they in use as a harpoon for spearing dollar hills, should be de- voted to the less profitable but hu- saner eno of extricating the young man from a watery grave. The skipper had grumbled a hit at first, but had give way--he always sIliled the rl--with the result that Sam found tHmself sitting on the deck of the tug enga;zed in the complicated process of restoring his facu!ties to the normal In a sort of dream he perceived Mr. Swanson rise to the sur- face some feet away. adjust his derby hat. and. after one long h)ok of dislike in his direction. SWim off rapidly to intercept a five which was floating under the stern of a nearby skiff. Sam sat on the deck and panted. He played on fle boards like a public fountain. At the back of his mind there was a flickering thought that he wanted to Clo something, vague feeling that he had some sort of an appointment which he must keep; but he was unable to think what it was. Meanwhile, he conducted tentative ex- periments with his breath. It was so long since he had last breathed that he had lost the knack of It. "Well. aincher wet?" sald a voice. The skipper's daughter was standing beside him, looking dow commiserat- Ingly. Of the rest of the family all he could see was the broad blue seats of their trousers as they leaned hopefully over the side in the quest for wealth. "Yessir! You sure are wet. Gee l I never seen av'one so wetl I seen wet guys, but I never seen anyone so et as you. Yessir, you're certainly wet r' "I am weL" admitted Sam. "Yesslr, you're wet! Wet's the word all right. Good and wet, that's what yOU are I" "it's the water," said Sat-_ His brain was still clouded ; he wished he could remember what that appoint- ment was. "That's ,'hat has made me wet." "'it's sure made you wet all right," agreed the girl. She looked at him interestedly. "Wotcha do it for?" she asked. "Do it for?" "Yes, wotcha do it for? 'How come? Wotcha do a Brodle for off'n that ship? I didn't see It myself, but pa says you come walloping doul off'n the deck like a sack of potatoes," Sam uttered a sharp cry. He had remembered. "Where is she?" "Where's who?" "The liner." "She's off down the river, I guess. She was swinging round, the last I seen of her." "She's not gone?" "Sure she's gone. Wotcha expert her to do? She's gotta get over to the other side" ain't she? Cert'nly she's gor" She looked at him Inter- ested, "Do you want to be on board her?" "Of course I do." "Then for the love of Pete" wotcha doln' wallopin' off'n the deck llke a sack of potato#s?" "I slipped. I was pushed or some thing." Sam sprang to his feet and looked wildly ahut him. "I must get back. Isn't there any way of getting back ?" "Well, you could catch np with her at quarantine out in the bay. She'll stop to let the pilet eft." "Can you take me to quarantine?" The girl glanced doubtfully at the seat of the nearest pair of trousers. "Well, we could," she said- "But pa's kind of set in his ways, and right now he's fishing for dollar bills with the boathook. He's apt to get sorts mad If he's interrupted." "I'll give him fifty dollars it he'll put me on board." "Got it on you ?" inquired the nymph coyly. She had her share of senti- ment. but she was her father's daugh. ter and inherited from him the busi- ness sense. "Here It Is." He pulled out his pocketbook. The book was dripping, but the contents were only fairly moist. "Pa !" saP" the girl. The trouser-seat remained where It was--deaf to its child's cry. "Pa ! Commere ! Wantcha I" I[ "But I suppose all brave men [] are modest. ') !] (TO BE CONTINUED.) COAST GUARDS OF BRITISH ISLES More d Lie t h{nThan a ThousandUnder LighthouseSContrOl each man after two months afoat gets an_ __.h_s.._s a month ashore. of Trinity House. __ I More than a thousand lighthouses! and lightships guard the coasts of me British Isles. and all are under The control direct or tndireet, of Trinity house. For the purpose of control the coast Is dlvided into districts, of which the London district is the most important. It extends from South- wold In Suffolk to the North Foreland in Kent. The stores for this district are kept at Trinity wharf, at BlackweU. and here are to he seen casks of oil. an- chors, mooring chains, complete lan- terns and machinery of many sorts, as well as quantities of buoys of different sizes, shapes and color The anchors used for mooring Ught- ships are huge implements of iron shaped like great umbrell/i& and as for the mooring chains, these are tested by hydraulic power up to 300 ton& Cen buoys, spherical buoys, wreck buoys, bell and gas buoys are here by the score. Some are new ; others are old and battered, and have been brought In for pfil'ting aud repair. Painting buoys goes on fill the year round, and the work Is done by the men who are ashore from lightships or ilghthouse Life on a lightship Is no Joke, lally L bad weather, and Slnce accidents sometimes happen to lightships, a relief ship is always kept moored at the wharf ready to start at a momeILt's notice to replace any vessel which has drifted from her moorings or been sunk in collision,- London Tit-Bits New Use for Motor Truck. Any five-tea motor truck, measur ing approximately nine feet from the rear of the driver's seat to the cev ter of the rear axle, can be cOnverte into a locomotive-type crane for serv ice on many construction Jobs, b) means of equipment now avallahle. The new attachment Is built moml of steel and has n four-cylinder gaso line engine, developing 30-horse power, for swinging and raising the boom and for operating a hoisting hook, or any standard ball-cubic.yard grab bueke weighing not over 200 pounds. The .crane. uumounted, weighs six tons, and outrigge2s with Jacks insure Its SZablJ lty when handling loads. Oppertunlty In Overalls? The reason moat people do not reeognise an opPortuulty when they meet It Is because it ally goes around wearing overalls and lookln like hard work,He-r Dodek WOODVILLE, MISSISSIPPI "' m mm u nmmmmm mmlmlm llmmm Nlm ImlN Im , 'qL'{ ( tim mm mm o1 mm lira mm mm mm im lm imm  tram i mm "Dec" Cook Again Gets in Limelight Dr. Frederick A. Cook and more than twenty of his assoct'tes are on trial in the Federal court at Fort Worth, Tax., charged with misuse of the mails, Cook and his c-defendants are among 100 charged with fraudu- lently promoting stock sales, as a re- suit of which, according to the At- torney General's department, a "suck- er list" which extended from the At- lantic to the Pacliic, was swindled our of $200,000,000. Cook, who won world-wide fame in l(,W when he declared he discovered the North Pole but failed to submit proofs, went to Texas five years ago seeking peace and wealth. His domestic troubles have been In Fort Worth courts for two years. V,hat oil he discovered was insufficient to smooth his marital troubles, and only a few months ago his wile was given a divorce decree, Cook failing to appear. Dr. Cook flatly denies every charge of whatever character ever brought against him. He ntill vehemently asserts he reached the North Pole. In fact he has spoken to several audiences about his famous "dash"; he insists that he provided well for his wife and daughter; that he never praeticed fraud in the oil game; that he really did climb to the top of MT. McKInley--that the whole world, in fae% is in league against him. Ladd's Billion-Dollar Government Bank | - ii i A billion-dollar government bank for lending money to American farm- era at 4 per tent Interest! Although Ir would revolutlouize the American financial system, this in effect is the proposal adwcated by Senator Edwi F, Ladd. Republican, of North Dakota for stabilizing agriculture Ladd's plan is based on the government is- suing millions of dollars in new Unit- ed States treasury re,ideates--guar- anteed by the gold and silver bullion in i vaults--nd lending the new paper money to farmers through tat saving banks at 4 per cent inter- est. The new greenbacks, Ladd de- clared, would give the farmer cheaper credlL easily accessible cash and end a "money famine now existing in the West." To prevent inflation, his plan would plate a limit of $5,500,000,000 on all paper money to be circulated in the United State which ultimately would force the retirement of all other paper moey m raver of federal green- back The North Dakota aenater hM announeed he would introduce a bill in the next eon to pot hIs plan in operation. |1 lU i Mary Garden to Be Married--Perhaps I | I i i ii F i i Mtry Garden, who is her own agenL will be married in 1924 ap She says 8o herself. 'Tot twelve years newspaper men hve been aking me when I'm going to be married," mild Mary. "Next year i the thirteenth, my lucky num- bet, astrologista, fortune tellers, palm readers, all tell me that I am to be married In 1924. So you see some- thing ought to happen. I never miss an opportunity to consult fortune tell- ers and palm readers. I love to hear them, though I always go away and say I don't believe a word they say. '*Anyway, the fortune tellers all agree in saying that I am to be mar- ried next year, so now every mah I meet I look him over and wonder if perhaps he Is not the man. However. I haven't seen him yet. "The only thing I dislike about getting married," continued the singer, "'is that I shall have to walk down the aisle of the church. I hate wMking. I hate it so mueh that I shah prob- ably he married sitting in an automobile. I love dancing, but that la as far removed from walking as it is from s-lmming. _  i i i t Hailer, Polish Hero, Gets Warm Welcome  i i i J [ I[ E [ N [ [ [ II J America hm had the pleasure of 1 tertfilning many dtingaIshed war leaders, including the French generals [ JOffre, Foeh and Gouraud. but none of its visitors from abroad has come near- er the rating of n national hero than  [ Gen. Joseph Huller, the idol of Poland. I who tame here to attend the Ameri- [ can Iginn convention la San Fran- cisco. The general hi not only a hero In his native land, but also in the United States. Many of our citizens of Polish extraction fought under his banner and thousands of Poles not naturalized at the time returned to Europe to assist in winning freedom for their country. Those Americans called themselves Hailers Oa. '' because they foulht under his Immediate command, and his division, as it was termed-approaehed the size of an army as recruits flocked IR to his headquarters. Many of the oldler who enlisted in his army have since reu'rned to the United States and 0creme repatriated. His record made him n man to be reckoned with in European affairs. Vaudain Tries Chinese Health Plan Samuel M. Vauelaln, president of the Baldwin Locomotive works, has signed a contract with a physician to keep him in physically perfect condi- tion for ten years, Mr. Vauelain went to the physician and said : 'Tve been sick and I haven't liked It. I don't want it to happen again. Is It possible to prevent it?" 'q believe It is," the physician replied. "Very well. then,- Mr. Vaueisin said.  make a contrac-t wlth you. Ktmp me well for ten years and I'll pay you a fiat sum every year, the amount to he inc/'eased each year on the assumption that the older I grow the more dlfeult It will be for you to keep me well "On my aide, I will agree tb do everything as you wish; flow any diet yo preaerlb work ate many houri u  uy, r*m. tn from work Loosen U With u'ts, It  all of tl smustl You Iasation and tdc.k rdid. Made of oil of ether recommended docto neck, realism, lumbago, ralgm, celestas, the back or bruisss, the Itmay and 'tu." To Mother: mad. in milder babies end for Childrma'e 35c and 65c and tubes. MIDDLE" LIFE GAUSED Change of Life, for Brought Many Symptoms, But She Cardui Helpful, Morganton, N. change of life, I aides and head," says Mr of this place. "It blood in my body rushed to My face would burn and dizzy when I would stoop so easily depressed and n lot of pain. I was easily upset= "I heard of Crdui end - a bottle and took it. I was better, but I knew I so thought I would try After the second I knew I took about fourin all, more later. "I certainly was "That many of the ymptoms attending "the be relieved, has been experience have taken Cardni. Certainly every woman ill ter off who gets with as little suffering as ] the assistance obtainable is valuable, indeed. No tug or approaching thit should neglect giving tonic medicine a fair upon its need being Cardui is for tale by Man wants but and he usually gets ItmounL MOTHERI GIVE "CAUF0 Harmlm " Laxative Gonipated Baby Constipated, bU- ious, feverish, or sick, colic Babies and Children love to take genuine "California Syrup." No other laxative regulates  the tender little bowel so nicely. It sweetens the stomach and starts the flyer and out griping. @ontainn soothing drugs. Say" your druggist and Insist upon gamine Syrnp" WhiCh eontal &dvertisement. Unfortunately a along too late In the live up to It. If Wortn or IrYstem, use ths "Dead Shot," Only Itt or 37 Pearl Riches may have wings, Is seldom a quitter. Sure FOR Z54AND SAVE: YOUR DNDr. Dr PpZ atrleUy" choice J, L. BlgYJL.N, PENSION t, sciatica, nverado Rein.