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The Woodville Republican
Woodville, Mississippi
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November 10, 1923     The Woodville Republican
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November 10, 1923
 

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TIE W00DVILLE REPUBLICAN WOODVILLE. MISSISSIPPI Three Hen and a Haid By P. G. WODEHOUSE Copyright by Geor H. Doran Co. "PINCHED MY TROUSERSI" Mrs. Horace Hignett. world- famous writer on theosophy, au- thor of "The Spreading Light,'" etc., etc., arrives in New York on a lecturing tour. Eustace, her t sOn, Is with her. Vindlea, ances- tral home of the Hlgnetts, is his, so her life is largely devoted to keeplvg him unmarried. Enter her nephew, Sam. son of Sir Mal- laby Marlowe, the eminent Lon- don lawyer. It is arranged that Sam and Eustace shall sail to- gether on the Atlantic the next day. Enter Bream Mortimer, American, son of a friend of an isufferable American named Bennett, who has been pestering Mrs. Hlgnett to lease Windles. CHAPTER I.---Continued. Bream Mortimer looked embar- rassed. He wriggled a little and moed "ChivalrousT' said Bream Mortimer doubtfully. "1 don't know that I'd call it absolutely ehivah'ous. Of course, ali's fair in love and war. Well, I'm glad you're going to keep my share in the business under your hat. It might have been awkward meeting him on board." "You are not likely to meet Eustaee on board, lie Is a very indiffereut sailor and spends most of his time in his cabin." "That's good! Saves a lot of awk- wardness. Well, goodby." "Goodby. When you reach England remember me to your father.'" "He won't have forgotten.you," said Bream Mortimer confidently. He did not see liow It was hunmnly possible for anyone to forgel this woman. She was like a celebrated chewing gum. The taste lingered. Mrs. Higp.(it was a woman of in- stant and decisive action, Even while her late visitor was speaking, schemes had begun to form in tier mind like hisarms as if he were trying to flap bubbles rising to the suace .of a rusliing river. By the time the door know," he said, "I'm not a man butts into other people's affairs." . . He stopped. "No' said Mrs. Hlg!aett. "I'm not a man who . . ,," Hlgnett was never a very pa- worn an. us take all your negative quail- for granted," she said curtly. Is it, if you have no objection eoncentratlng your attention on that fm a moment, that you wish to see me about?" I'his marriage." "What marriage?" "Your son's marriage," "My son Is not married." "No, but he's going to be. At eleven o'Clock this morning at the Little Oturch Round the Corner F' HJm. Hlgnett stared. "Will you please tell me who ls the mls00i00 son wishes ' "I don't know that I'd call him mls- lded," said Mr. Mortimer, as one de- g to be fair. "I think he's a right plcker She's such a corking know, We were children to- gether, and I've loved her for years. Ten years at least. But you know how It is---somehow one never seems to get In line for a proposal. I thought ! saw an opening in the summer of teen-twelve, but It blew over. I'm lot one of those smooth, dashing guys, a great line of talk. I'm o" kindly," said Mrs. Hig- impatiently, "postpone this essay psycho-analysis to some future oc- aton I shall be greatly obliged. I In waiting to hear the name of the Ill my son wishes to marry." "Haven't I told you?" said Mr. Mor- liner surprised. 'Jhat'a odd. I Ivem'tl It's funny how one doet't do tile things one thinks one doeL I'm he sort of man . . ." "What 18 her name?" "Bennett." "Bennett? Wllhelmina Bennett? The daughter of Mr. Rufus Bennett? The red-haired glrl I met at lunch one day at your father's house?', "That's It. You're a great guesser. [ think you ought to stop the thing." I intend to." ,1he F' The marriage would be unsuitable bl every way. Miss Bennett and my :el do not vibrate on the same plane. much obliged to you for coming telling me of this. I shall take ! But what's the pro- It's getting late. She'll be at the church at eleven. With "1mid Mr. Mortimer. be there." you can fix it?" Enstace will not be there," repeat- Hlgnett. Bream Mortimer hopped down from you've taken a weight off my Uzd, I'll be going. Haven't had  8oftly to Her Son's Room. breakfast'lit. Too worried to eat breakfast. Relieved now. This is where three eggs and a rasher of ham get cut off in their prime. 1 feel I can rely on you." I can !" "Then I'll say goodbyY "Goodby." "I mean really goodhy. I'm Bailing for England on Saturday. on the At- llmte," ;'iIndeed ? My son will be Your fellow- timelier." e  Bream Mortimer look d somewhat had closed behind Bream Morthner she had at her disposal no fewer than seven, all good. It took her but a moment 'to select the best and sim- ,Aest She tiptoed softly to her son's room. Rhythmic snores greeted her listening ears. She opened the door and went noiselessly In. CHAPTER II The liner Atlantic lay at her pier with steam up and gangway down ready for her trip to Southampton. The hour of departure was near and there was a good deal of mixed activ- Ity going on. Sailors fiddled about with ropes. Junior officers flitted to and fro. Vthite-jacketed stewards wrestled with trunks. Probably the captain, though not visible, was also employed on some useful work of a nautical nature and not wasting his time. Men, women, boxes, rugs, dogs, flowers and baskets of fruit were flowing on board tn a steady stream. The cavernous customs shed was congested with friends and relatives, and Sam Mar- lowe, heading for the gangplank, was only able to make progress by em- ploying all the muscle and energy which Nature had bestowed upon him, and which during the twenty-five years of his life he had developed by ath lettc exercise. However, after some minutes of silent endeavor, now driv- Ing his shoulder into the mldrlff c some obstructing male, now courte- ously lifting some stout female off his feet, he had succeeded In struggling to within a few yards of his goal, when suddenly a sharp pain shot through his right arm and he spun round with a cry. It seemed to Sam that he had been bitten, and this puzzled him, for New York crowds, though they ma shove and Jostle, rarely bite. He found himself face to face with an extraordinarily pretty girl. She was a red-halred girl with the beautiful Ivory skin which goes with red hair. Her eyes, though they were under the shadow of her hat, and he could not be certain, he diagnosed as green, or maybe blue, or possibly gray. Not that it mattered, for he lind a catholic taste in feminine eyes. So long as they were large and bright, as were the specimens tinder his Im- mediate notice, he was not the man to quibble about a point of color. Her nose was small, and on the very tip of It there was a tiny freckle. Her mouth was nice and wide, her Chin soft and roun Nature abhors a vacuum. Samuel Marlowe was a susceptii)ie young man, and for many a long month his heart bad been lying empty, all swept and garnished, with "Welcome" on the mat. This girl seemed to rush in and fill lt. She was not the prettiest girl he had ever seen. She was the third prettiest. He had an orderly mind, one capable of classifying and docketing girls. He swallowed convulsively. HIs well. developed chest swelled beneath its eoverlng of blue flannel and invisible stripe. At last, he told himself, h was in love, really In love. and at first sight, too, which made It all the more Impressive. He doubted whether In the whole course of history anything like this had ever happened before to anybody. OIL :o clasp this girl to him and-- But she had bitten him in the arm. That was hardly the right spiriL That, he felt, constituted an obstacle. "Oh. I'm sorry!" she cried. Well, of course, if she regretted her rash act. After all, an Impul- sive girl might [dte a man in the arm in the excitement of the moment and still have a sweet, womanly nature. "The crowd seems to make Pinky- Boodles so nervous." Sam might have remained mystified. but at this juncture there proceeded from a bundle of mgs in the neigh- borhood of the girl's lower ribs a sharp yapping sound. "I hope he didn't hurt you much. You're the tldrd person he's bitten t day." She kissed the aniinal In a loving and congratulatory way on the tlp of his black nose. "Not counting bellboys, of course." she added. And then be was swept frm him In the crowd and he was left thinking of all the things he might have sahl--all those graceful, wii ty, Ingratiating things which just make a bit of dif- ference on these occasions. Sam reached the gang-phmg, showed his ticket, and mda his way through the crowd of passengers, passengers' friends, stewards. Junior officers and sailors who Infested the de.ck. He proceeded down "the main companion- way, through a rich smell of India- rubber and mixed pickles, as far as the dining-saloon: then turned to his tateroom. apprehensive. A footstep sounded In the passage won't tell him that I was the outside. The door opened. he beans?" "Hullo. EustaOe!" said Sam. your pardon." Eustace Hlgnett nodded listlessly. won't wise him up that I Bat down on his bag and emitted a sigh. He was a small, fragile. man with a pale, lntel- i Dark hair fell in a "What on earth's the matter?" said Sam. "'Tle matter?" Eustace Hlgnett laughed mirthlessly. "Oh, nothing. Nothing much. Nothlng to signify. Only my heart's broken." He eyed with considerable malignity the bottle of water in the rack above his head, a harmless object provided by the company for clients who might desire :o eleau iheir teeth during the voyage. "If you would care to hear the story?" he said. "Go ahead." "It is quite short." "That's good." "Soon after I arrived in America I met a ktrl ." "Talking of girls,'" said Marlowe with entiiuslasm. "I'x-e Just seen the "Oh, Nothing, Nothing Much--Nothing to Signify  Only My Heart's BrokenY only one in the world that really amounts to anything. It was like this. 1 was shoving my way through the mob on the dock, when suddenly . . ." "Shall I tell you my story, or will you tell me yours?" "Oh, sorry! Go ahead." Eustace Hlgnett scowled at the printed notice on the wall informing occupants of the stateroom that the name of their steward was J. B. Midgeley. "She was an extraordinarily pretty girl ." "What was her name?" "Wllhelmlna Bennett. She was an extraordinarily pretty girl and highly intelligent. I read her all my poems and she appreciated them immensely. She enjoyed my singing. My conver- sation appeared to interest her. She admired my ." "I see. You made a hit. Now go on wlth the rest of the story." "I asked her to be my wife, and uh e consented. We ' both agreed that a quiet wedding was What we wanted-- she thought her father might atop the thing If he knew. and I was dashed sure my mother would--so we decided to get married without telling anybody. By now," said Eustace, with a morose glance at the porthole, "I ought to have been on my honeymoon. Every- thing was settled. I had the license and the parson's fe. I had been breaking in a new tie for tLe wed- cling." "'Andthen you quarreled' "Nothing of the kind. I wish you would stop trying to tell me . ( story. I'm telling you. What happened is this : somehow-,--I can't make "out howmother found out. And then, of course, it was all over She stopped the thing." Sam was indignant. He thoroughly disliked .his Aunt Adellne, and his cousin's meek subservience to her re- volted hlm. "Stopped It? I suppose ,she Bald, 'Now, Eustaca, you mustn't ! and you said. 'Very well, mother !' and scratched the fixture?" She didnt say a word. She never has said a word. As far as that goes she might never have heard nything about tile marriageJ' "Then llow do you "ean she stopped it?" "She pinched my trousers l" "Pinched your trousears?" Eustace groaned. "All of them ! The whole belly lot! She gets up long before I do, and she must have come Into my room and cleaned It out while I was asleep. When I woke up and started to dress I couldn't find a soli- tary pair anywhere In the whole place. I looked everywhere. Finally. I went into the sitting-room where she was writing letters and "asked If she had happened to see any anywhere. She said she had sent them all to be pressed. She said she knew I never ent out in the morningsI don't as a rule--and they would be back at lunch time. A fat lot of use that was! l had to be at the church at eleven.' Well. I told her I had a nlost lmpor. tam engacement with a man at eleven, and she wanted to know what it was and I tried to think of something, but it soumled pretty feeble and she said I had better telephone to the man and put it off. I did it, too. Rang up the first number in the book and told some fellow I had never seen in my life that I couldn't nieet him! He was pretty peeved, Ju6ging from what lie said about my hein on the wrong line. And mother listening all the time, and 1 knowing that she knew something tohl me that she knew--aml she knowing that I knew she knew--I tell you it was awful !" "And the girl?" "Slie broke off the engagement. Ap- parently she waited at the church from eleven till one-thlrty and then began to get impatient. She wouldn't .ee me when I called In the after- noon, but I got fl letter from her say- ing that what had happened was all for the best and she had been think- ing It over and had come to the conclu- sion that she had nmde a mistake. She said something about my not being as dynamic as she had thought I was. She said that what she wanted wa something more llke Lancelot or Sit Galahad, and would I look on the epl. sods as closed." "Did you explain about the trou- sers?" "Yes. It seemed to make things worse. She said that she could for. give a man anything except being ridiculous." "I think you're well 6ut of It," said Sam Judicially. "She can't have been much of a girl." "I feel that now, But It doesn't alter the fact that my life is ruined. I have become a woman-hater. Wom- en! When I think how mother be- haved and how Wllhelmlna treated m I wonder there isn't a law agains! them. 'What mighty ills have not bee done by Woman! Who was It b trayed the Capltol!'" "In Washington?" said Sam. puzzled He had heard nothing of this. Bul then he generally confined his readin of the papers to the sporting page. "I was quoting from Thomas Ot- way's 'Orphan.' I wish I could wrlt like Otway. He knew what he wa talking about." "Well, of course, he may be right It a way. As regards some women, ] mean. But the girl I met on th[ dock" "Don't i" said Eustace HignetL "II you have anything bitter and deroga tory to say about women, say It and . will listen eagerly. But if you meted wish to gibber about the oruamenta exterior of some dashed girl you haw been fool enough to get attracted by go and tell it to the captain or th ship's cat or J. B. Midgeley. Do t to realize that I am a soul In torment I am a ruln. a spent force, a man with out a future[ What does life hold f me? Love? I shall never love again My work? I htven't anY. I think shall take to drllEk." "Talking of that," sald Sam, I sup pose they open the bar directly w pass the three-mile limit. How abou a small one?" Eustace shook his head gloomily. "Do you suppose I pass my time m board ship In gadding about and feast Ing? Directly the vessel begins t move I go to bed and stay there. A; a matter of fact I think It would b wisest to go to bed now. Don't le me keep you if you want to go ot deck." "It looks to me," said Sam, "as if had been mistaken In thinking the' you were going to be a ray of suushin on the voyage." "Ray of sunshine!" said Eustao HlgnetL pulling a pair of mauve pa James out of the kit-bag. "I'm go in! to be a volcano l" * * * Sam left the stateroom and heade for the companion. He wante to ge on deck and ascertain if that g! wm still on board. About now the sheel would be separating from the goats the passengers would be on deck ant their friends returning to the shore A slight tremor on the boards on whicl he trod told him that this separatlot must have already taken place. Th ship was moving. e ran lightly uI the companion. Was she on board oi was she not? The next few minute,. would decide. He reached the top ot the stairs and pas.ed out onto th crowded deck. And, as he did so, scream, folloed by confused shouting came from the rail nearest the shore He perceived that the tall was blae with people hanging oer It. The) were all looking Into the wter. seen anyone so wet as yOU." (TO BE CONTINUED.) ANIMALS MET THEIR DEATH IN TAR @ Saber-Tooth Tlger, Mastodons. Ele- phants and Camels Caught In California Asphalt Pit. Recently I stood looking Into the as- phalt pits at Rancho La Brae, Cal. l had held In my hand that morning an eight-inch tooth from this pit, the great curved fang of Smilodon" the saber- tooth tiger. The terrible weapon might have been torn from the tiger's Jaw only yester- day. so perfectly had the Impregnating oil preserved It. Thin,-bladelike, Its Inner serrate edge pricked the akin and clung to the finger drawn through Its scimitar curve. It was a perfect tooth. The beast lssesslng it had perished in his mighty pride. And here with trim in the treacherous tar had perished two thousand of his kind. Skeletal parts of two thousand saber-tooth tb gers have been taken from this Cali- fornia tar pool at La Brae. As I stood by the pl! 1 looked about me. Two small ground squirrels watched me from behind a eucalyptus tree; a forest of derricks rose over against me, pumping oil; s stream of motor cars' whizzed past me on the road; but In the pool below me Geology here lind scrapped her late ages. Tills was Thne's dump. the ren derlng vat. where into nothingness am nigit each lighted day Is melted, eaet perfect form of life. What strange and mighty form,. have vanished here: tigers more dread ful than those of the Amazon or Ben gai mastodons of monstrous size, eae phants" camels, tapirs, sloths horsc, wolves, cave blrs and bear dogs big ger than the Kadiak bear, birds am reptiles without like or kind amon the Ilvingnow forever gone excep that their buried hones are found, ant on those rude and partial frame rough guesses hung for what wer once unique and breathing forms,- Harper's Magazine. 2._ Iris the Poor Man's Orchid. It was the iris of which Ruskl: wrote that it "has a sword for its teal and a lily for Its heart." It Is the iri that is known as the fleur-de-lis ol France. In Greek. from whence it came. the name means tlnbow. lr the United States It Is often swken ol as the poor man's orcidd. There ar fully ,100 species in cultivation, wltl varieties aimom without number. Th flowers Of UOI a[ r: b. mm atom i mm i ll mm mm umm m 1 mm 1 romp i u mm mmml i  mmm mmm mmm mm Crowder's Job in Cuba No Soft Snap Maj. Gen. Enoch H. Crowder. whose name will never be forgotten by this generation of Americans. is now havln troubles of his own as ambassador to Cuba. When President Zayas came into power he gave ms unqualified indorsement to the reform program which had been urged by Gen- eral Crowder at Washington. Admi- istrathm officials believed there was to be little difficulty In putting rhrough the reforms, regarded as necessary for the salvation of Cuba. Slnce that thne, however, Ambas- sador Crowder has encountered nun]er- pus difficulties, including many evi- dences of wabbling on the part of Zayas. It is admltted there have been times when It seemed that intervention While President Coolidge Is keen- ly appreciative of the obligation of the American government toward Cuba  . and would not hesitate to intervene in the affalrs of the island republic, If necessary, it has become known that he and Secretary of State Hughes are counting on the development of an enlightened public opinion among the Cuban people which shall act as a check upon graft and a powerful factor for reform. League of Nations for Bird Protection You on Musterole i in its good work ptevents a cold i or pneumonia. Just with the fingers. WOrK ot without the blister. Musterole is a clean made of oil mples. It is doctors and nurses. ore throat. chifis, asthma, ofins and aches of the sprains, sore muscles (rested feet--colds of To Mothers: made in babie and arrmll Ask for Children's 35c and tter t/ua a HIMDERCO Clear, With Cuticura and Cuticura FIFJ.,I)-G RO W N F. O. B. RUSSELL. over 5,000--$1.00 per H. RF.DMAN, Although it has proven a dlfficull matter to create a political league of nations, T. Gilbert Pearson. president of the Natlonal Association of Audu- bon societies, has demonstrated the possibility of creating a league for the very useful purpose of protecting the wild birds of the world Leading scientific and conservation societies In nine countries have now organized and i::: pledged to active endeavors for the protection of the birds In their coun- tries, and in aiding similar movements . in more benighted regions. This movement was launched at a conference held in London In June last year. On invitation of Mr. Pear- son delegates from several countries met in the home of Hon. Reginal0 McKenna, Among the very active members of this conference were Lord Edward Grey and Lord Buxton of England. P. G. Van Tlenhoven of Hot- land. and the eminent naturalist, M. Jean Delacour of France, Mr. Pearson, president of thls internauonai commit- tee, who has returned from a lecturing tour through seven of the countries in Europe, said: "Europe is looking to America for leadership. There is no country in the world that Is so thoroughly organized and has such advanced laws for bird protection as the United States. Our international organization is now in effective operation in the United States, Canada, Australia, Norway, England. Holland. Luxemburg, France and Italy. Other countries have recent- ly been invited to unite with the movement and action y them may be expected." Patrick, Air Chief, Wins Pilot's Wings MaJ. Gem Mason M. Patrick, chief of the army air service (portrait here- with), celebrated his sixtieth birthday by winning for himself what all avi- ators covet--pilot's wing& Aside front his army record, General Patrick has now three claims to distinction: He Is the only officer of hts rank ho Is entitled to wear pilot's wing; he is the only chief of air service ever to qualify for an aviator's rating; and he Is the only man in the entire world known to have .taken up and tu have learned the art of flying at his age. When General Patrick found he had to fly and d!dn't know the first thing about flying, MaJ. Herbert A. Dargne was assigned to teach him. Patrick said to him, "Forger the rantL Dargne--you're to teach me to fly-- and you can go as far as you like i[ you have to cuss me out." Dargue may or may not have don, any "cussing", but the chief Is sa1 to be as good a flier as there Is to he found in the United States. just what medicme ar Impo00t Finds by Fossil Hunters Here is a new portTalt of Roy Chapman Andrews, one of the leaders of the third Asiatic expedition of the American Museum of Natural History. that has Just returned from the plains of Mongolia. The expedition is bring- lag back from China nine tons of fos- silized bits of the dim past. These cover animal life that existed between 25,000,000 and 10,000,000 years ago in what are now the deserts and plains of East Central Asia. Among these fossils are 25 eggs laid by dinosauPs. gigantic reptilian creatures of a pre- historic era. This expedition has apparently col- lected evidence to prove two thlnga of great scientific importance: (1) That central Asia was the site of a real "Garden of Eden": (2) that Asia and America ere once united by a bridze of land over which prehistoric life roamed freely. They have definitely linked up the fossils of Asia with thoe of America. Prom the Siwalik liilis of northern India. a collection that ranks with the Mongolian find has arrived at the museum. Join our prize contesL Sure-Fit Co.. Station Naumtlng Medicine safe, rtiable method of ou[, sciatica, neurltiz Denverado Ram. Co. Box Mana A man ts never ashamed that he doesn't another does, but he Is the ignorance of the other knowing what he does. For our daughter's Cross Ball Blue in the will then have that dainty, appearance that girls vertisement. Thought It Was Conductor--Fare ! Dozing Ball can get two bases on it. A profile photograph sideshow. Dr. Albert A. Mlchlson of the Un|verslty of Chicago Is very much in the limelight these days. He has been awarded the Franklin medal. He has been elected president of the Na- tional Academy of Sciences at Wah- ington. And every day the scientific world is making new discoveries through the use of his marvelous ln- vention, the interferometer, which measures the diameters of the stars and other incredible things. Dr. Michelsen is now el: work on an experiment which may have an im- portant bearing on the various phases o the theory of Einstein, which has aroused warm discussion among the few scientists able to understand It. Assisted by Dean Hehry Gordon Gale. he has constructed an apparatus which to the man in the treet appears to fonslst principally of a line of tile CHARACTER THE People throughout giving more thought the purity of remed but no one doubt the Pieree's vegetable have been so sorer h is e Rdlab C,snd i BY COLDS by a ws|l-known M. D., who heslth-giving herbs in sickness by the reputation as a citizen of Butfa]o, ia tee for the and blood Discovery', and the tonic and ailments, Dr. tion. Send 10c. Dr. Pierre's Iv Avoid &