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The Woodville Republican
Woodville, Mississippi
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November 3, 1923     The Woodville Republican
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November 3, 1923
 

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Three lVten and alVtaid By P. G. WODEHOUSE Copyright by George H. Doran Co. - FUN AND ACTION GALORE Here's something new in the way of humor--a broadly humorous hove! of, English life by an Englishman who has had the advantage of a post-graduate course in American humor, lives in the United States and writes largely for the American public--P. G. Wodehouse. There are not many Englishmen who have succeeded in adapting their talents to American ideas of humor---Charlie Chaplin and Stephen Lsacock are two conspicuous examples. Mr. Wodehouse got his education in Eng- land and began his literary Oareer by conducting a funny newspaper column. He made his debut as a novelist In 1902 and now has a dozen or more books to his credit. In 1909 he came to the United States and hie address is now Bellport, L. I. "Three Men and a Maid" is clean, full of action and chokablk with amusing situation& The maid is Wilhslmina Bennett, a nice Amer. lean girl, red.headed and full of pep. One of the three men Is Sam Marlowe, an amateur British golfer, son of an eminent London lawyer. le Eustae HIgnett, 8ames cousin, son of Mrs. Horace Hignett, the world-famous writer and Isoturer on theosophy. The third is Bream American; his father and WIIhelmina's father are lifelong "frtends and are bent on a match between their children. The story opens in New York. Mrs. Hlgnett is about to begin a lecture tour. 8he has Euetace with hbr; her constant care is to shoo the girls away from him, since she is a widow and Windles, the anceetrsl Hlgnett estate, belongs to him. Bennett has been pestering her to loses Windles---a crime in her eyes. Bream Informs Mrs. Hignett that WIIhelmlna is waiting for Eustace at the Little Church Round the Corner. Mrs. Hignett "pinches the (re'sere m of her son. WtlhelmlnaBillie for .short--thereupon calls the wedding off. The author then gets his three men snd a maid on the liner Atlantlc, bound for England. Sam rune into Billie and falls in love at first sight. Eustaco mopes in hie cabin, heart-broken. Bream Is tentatively engaged to BIIlle. Mrs. Hignett does not know BIIlie is on board; neither does F.ustace. Sam poses as a hero and wins Billie only to lose ker. Eustace fal|s In love with Jane, a big-game hunter, Billie's traveling companion. A pretty lively voyage, that] Eustaee leases Wtndles to Bennett and presently the three men and the maid are all at the Hlgnett home. Sam has rehabilitated himself with Billie by another display of heroism. Eustace and Jane are engaged. Bream Is hanging around. Then appears Mrs. Hignett, with red In her eye. Action and fun galore! CHAPTER i Thl"ough the curtained windows of the furnished apartment which Mrs. Horace Hlgnett had rented for her stay In New York rays of golden sun- light peeped in like the foremost spies Of some advancing army. It was ex- actly eight; and Mrs. Hlhmett acknowl- edged the fact by moving her head on the pillow, opening her eyes, and sit- ring up In bed. She always woke at :gh precisely. : Was this Mrs. Hlgntt THE Mrs. Hlgnett, the world-famous writer on the author of "The Spread- "What of the Morrow," and rest of that well-known series? glad you asked me. yes. she was. had come over to America on a lacing tour., 1921, it will be remem- was n trying one for the lnhabl- of the Urflted States. Every boat that arrived from England brought a fresh swarm of British lec- turers to the country. Novelists. poets, tylentlsts, philosophers and plain, or- dinary boreS; some herd instinct seemed to affect them all simultane- dimly. Mrs. Hlguett had come over with the first batch of Immigrants; for, spir- Itual as her writings were, there was = a solid streak of business seuse in this woman and she meant to get hera While the getting was good. he had not left England without a departure had Involved sac- More than anything else. In she loved her charming Wtndtes, in the county of Hump- at) many years the seat of family Wlndles was as life to her. Its shady its noble elms, old gray Its walls-these up with her very being. that she belonged to Wludles. The staff remained for a moment in melancholy silence, then resumed. "He says be's your nephew. HIS name's Marlowe." Mrs. Htgnett experienced no dimi- nution of her annoyance. She had not seen her nephew Sam for ten years and would have been willing to ex- tend the period. She remembered him as an untidy small boy who, once or twice, during his school holidays, had disturbed the clolstral peace of Win- riles with his beastly presence. How- ever, blood being thicker than water, and all that sort of thing, she sup- posed she would have to give him five minutes. She went into the sitting- room and found there a young man who looked more or less like all other young men, though perhaps rather fitter than most. H had a brown and amiable face, marred at the mo- ment by an expression of discomfort somewhat akin to that of a cat in a strange alley. "Hallo, Aunt Adellne !" he sald awk- wardly. "Well, Samuel" said Mrs. Hinett. There was a pause. Mrs. Hlgnett,* who was not fond of young men and disliked having her mornings broken Into, was thinking that he had not improved in the slightest degree since their last meeting; and Sam. wbo ImagXned that he had long since grown to man's estate and put off childish things, was embarrassed to discover that his aunt still affected him as of old. That Is to say, she made him feel as if he had omitted to shave, and, In addition to that, had swal- lowed some drug which had eaused him to swell unpleasantly, particularly about the hands and feet. "Jolly morning," ald Sam. parse. verlngly. "So I imagine. I have not yet been out." "Thought I'd look in and e how W " Wlndles to her. Unfolunately, [ Sou ere, ,matter of cold, legal eY, 4t] 'That was very kind of you. The :, She did but hold it in tst|morning is my busy time, but . ,' sort. Eustace, until such time | yes, that was very kind of you l" sh(mld marry and take pome | Them was another pause. it himself. There were times| "How do you like America?" said thought of EnStace marrying | Sam. a strange woma  . n to / I distlke it exceedingly ,, chilled Mrs. Higher( to her "Yes? Well. of course some people / marrow. Happily, her firm pcllcy I her son permanent|y under l eye at home and never permitting have speech with a female be- age of fifty had averted the till now. Eustaee had accompanied his America. It was his faint which she could ieor In the room. as, having bathed and he went down the hall to breakfast awaited her. Sfie tolerantly. She had never de- her son to her own habits, for, apart from him to call hls soul his she was an Indulgent mother. et up at half-past nine, had finished breakfast, and started her duties was on the table in th Beside It was a little Mrs. Hlgnett opened The majority were dealt with matters Interest. There the Butterfly to be the guest of dinner. There a letter from her brother Mal. Marlowe. the eml- lawyer--aylng that Ifls of whom she hfld never at> would be in New York short- pslg through on his way bae gland, and hoping that sie ould of him. .Mtogether" a Mrs. Hignett had Just rhten when there ws a sOUnd in the hall. and pregently tho Xtaff. a gaunt Irish lady of entered the room. there was a gentlemanY was annoyed. Her were sacred. 0u tell him I was not to be loosed hint Into the do. Prohibition and aH that. Person- ally. it doesn't affect me. I can take It or leave It alone." "The reason I dislike Arnerlca,, began Mrs. Higher( bridling. "I like It. myself." sai d Sam. "I've had a wonderful tiros. Everybod.v's treated me like a rich uncle. I've been In Petty)it. you know, and they PraC- tically gave me the city and asked me if I'd like another to take home in my pocket. Never saw anything like R. I might have been the miss- Ing heir. 1 think America's the great- est invention on record." "And what hrought you to Amer- ica?" said Mrs. Hignett, unmoved.by tills rhapsody. 'Oh. I came over to play golf. In a tournament, you know." "Surely at your age," said Mrs. Hlg- nett, disapprovingly, "you could be better occupied. Do you spend your whole time playing golf?" "Oh, no. I hunt a bit and shoot a bit and I swim a good lot, and I still play football occasionally." "I wonder your father does not in- sist on your doing some useful work." '*He is beginning to barp on the sub- Ject rather. I suppose I shall take a stab at It sooner or later. Father says I ought to get married, too." "He is perfectlyA'Ight," "I suppose old Eustace will be get- ting hitched up one of thege days?" said Sam. Mrs. Hignett started violently, "Why do you say that?" "Eh T' "What makes you say that?" "Oh. well. he'= a remantle sort of fellow. Writes poetry and all that." "There is no likelihood of Eustace marrying. He Is of a shy and retir- ing temperament and sees few woman. He ts almost a recluse." of this ad had Ira- q It, He had always been eoustu and In that half-amused and rather patronizing way in which men of thews and sinew., are fond of the weaker brethren wbo run more to pallor and intellect; and he had ahvays felt that if Eustace had not had to retire to Wlndles to spend his life with a woman whom from his earliest years he always considered the Empress of the Wash-outs much might have been made of him. Both at school and at Oxford, Eustace had been--if not a sport--at least a de- cidedly cheery old bean. Sam remem- bered Eustace at school breaking gas globes uqth a slipper in a positively rollicking manner. He remembered him at Oxford playing up to him man- fully at the piano on the occasion when he had done that imitation of Frank Tlnney which had been such a hit at I the Trinity smoker. Yes, Eustace had had the making of a pretty sound egg, and it was too bad that he had al- lowed his mother to coop him up down in the country miles away from any- where. "Eustace is returning to England on Saturday," said Mrs. Hlgnett. She spoke a little wistfully. She had not been parted from her son since he had come down from Oxford; and she would have liked to keep him with her till the end of her lecturing tour. That, however, was out of the question. It was imperative that while she was away, he should be at Windles. Nothing would have induced her to leave the place at the mercy of ervants who might trample over the flower-beds, scratch the polished floors. and forget to cover up the canary at night. "He sails on the Atlantic." "That's splendid," said Sam. "I'm sailing on the Atlantic myself. I'll go down to the office and see if we can't have a stateroom together. But where is he going to Hoe when he gets to England?" "Vfhere is he going to live? Why, at Wlndles, of course. Where else?" "But I thought you were letting Wlndles for the summer?" Mrs. Hlgnett stared. "Letting Windles:" She spoke as one might address a lunatic. "What had pursued her with his pleadings by means of the wireless telegraph while she was on the ocean, and had not given np the struggle even when she reache New York. He had egged on a friend of his, a Mr. Mortimer, to continue the persecution In that city. No wonder, then, that Sam's allusion to the affair had caused the authoress of "The Spreading Light" momentarily to lose her customary calm. "Nothing will Induce me ever to let Wlndles," she said with finality, and rose significantly. Sam, perceiving that the audience was at an end,--and glad of it--also got up. "Well, I think I'll he going down ad seeing about that stateroom," he said. "Certainly. I am a Utile buey Jtmt now, preparing notes for my next lee- tufa." "Of eourae, yes. Mustn't Interrupt you. I suppoee you're having a great time, gaing awaT---I mare---well, good-by F' "Good-by l" Mrs. Hlgnett, frowning, for tile in- terview had ruffled her and disturbed that equable frame of mind which Is so vital to the preparation of lectures on theosophy, sat down at the writing- table and began to go througb the notes which she had made overnight. She bad hardly succeeded in coneen- tratlng herself when the door opened to admit the daughter of Erin once more. "Ma'am, there was a gentleman." 'his is intolerable !" cited Mrs. Hlgnett. "Did you tell htm that I was busy?" "I did not. I loosed him Into the dlning-room." "Is he a reporter from one of the newspapers ?" "He is no. He has spats and a tall-shaped hat. His name is Bream Mortimer." "Bream Mortimer" "es, ma'am. He handed me a bit of a kyard, but I dropped it, being sllppy from the dishes." Mrs. Hignett strode to the door with a forbidding expression. This, u she had justly remarked, wa Intolerable. She remembered Bream Mortimer. He was the son of the Mr. Mortimer who was the friend of the Mr. Bennett wlo wanted Wlndies. This visit could only have to do with the subject of Windles, and she went into the dining-room In a state of cold fury, determined to squash the Mortimer family once and for alL Bream Mortimer wa tall. and He had small, bright eyes and a sharp- ly curving nose. He looked much more like a parrot than meet Imrmts do. It gave strangers a momentary shock of surprise when they saw Bream MortAmer in restaurants eating roast beef. They had the feeling that he would have preferred sunflower seeds. "Morning, Mrs. Higher(." "Please sit down." Bream Mortimer sat down. He looked as though he would rather have hopped onto a perch, but he sat down. He glanced about the room with gleaming, excited eyes, "Mrs. Higher(, I must have word with you alone" "You are having a word with me alone." "Letting Windiest" Bhe Bpeke ae One "I hardly know how to begin." Might A.ddrsae a Lunatic. [ "Then let me help ou. It is qte [impossible I will never consent." put t.at extraordinary Lde Into your | Bream Mortimer started. head?' . j "Then you have heard 1" 'I thought father said something | I have heard about nothing else about your letting the place to some | since I met Mr. Bennett In London. American?" ...... [ Mr. Bennett talked about nothll otnlng of the kind i" th talk i Your fa el" ed about nothing else. It seemed to Barn that his aunt l now." Ht,n m.a . . And . cried Mrs. _ett fl__..-,, spoke somewhat vehemently, even i. ,, r redden th su- _ou tome and t_ to ....... snappishly, In eorvecng what was a[jec L Onee and for all, nothllxg will perfectly natural mistake. He cOuld]alter my decision. No .!,, ey will In- not know that the subject of letting iduc e me to let my house. Wlndles for the summer was one which { "But _I _didn't eo__m ___utaha th_.,t,,. had long since begun to Infuriate Mrs. ] "You did not come about Windim' Hlguett. People had certainly asked| "Good Lord, not" --- to let Windier. In fact people had l "Then ,will you kindly tell me why pestered her. There was a rich fat ]you have come?" man, an American named Bennett, l- whom she had met JUSt before sailing li i , 7| at her brother's house In London. ln-[H "He found himself face to il vlted down to Wlndles for the day, l I[ face with an extraordinary peel. H Mr. Bennett had fallen In love with the } [I ty girL" |] place and had begged her to name ber ] I| ' II own price. Not content with this. he I" (TO ' CONTINUED.) ' - TSINAN-FU, CITY OF IVlANY CHARMS Walled Ghmm Municipality of 300.. 000 People, Most Attractive to Tourist& At the land end of the Shantung railway lies Tsinan.fu. a most Inter- esting waited cit of F, OO,tK)O inhabi- tam& It swarms with picturesque and malodorous coolie life and boasts of many oriental allurementa that (,harm the traveler, who never ceases to be enthusiastic. Although not vl Red by many tourists today, It may eventually become a popular place for seekers after the curious. Few Chinese cities are more fasei- 'nating. A magnificent wall surrounds the city, which Is eioquent of. the greatness of the past. There are sav- eral imposing gateways through which all traffic must pass. Tile flowlng waters of welling springs assist wow derfully in tile san|tatlot of the ally, both In cleansing the streets and the bodies of the Inhabitant& Almost all the freight Is moved In wheelbarrows. Some of the loads are thus conveyed distances of 15 or 20 miles s day. Wheelbarrows also handle passenger traffic. "My lady" frequently returl from ber ShOpping tour with the bun. dies on one side and herself on the other. Half a dozen people may ride in front of a puffing and perspiring coolie. The wheel Is in the center of the barrow, wlich aids In balancing the load. If it tuaueuaily heavy: tnothel man or bol helps to pull bT. means of a rope or strap thrown across his shoulders. Iu s very few instances a mule is the assistant, but it requires a man to lead the mule. Tile man behind has the bardest work to do, The knotted muscles of thq man's back and the tense expression of his eyes bear witness to the intense physical strain under which he labors, The wheelbarrow ls the cheapest method of transportatlo In Chlnn. Nevln D. Winter in Current History. 1,500 Miles on an Ice Floe. 2"he experience of the batch of Nor- wegian sealers who drifted to Spitz bergen on an Ice floe the other day, after their ship had been sunk far out of sight of land to the northward, is by no means unique, says a writer In s London paper. Several extraordinary escapes et- feeted by these means are recorded in maritime annals. Perhaps the moat marvelous of them all concerns the case of the whaling ship Polart lot in the Arctic ocean. The survivors, 19 people in aK, ae- tuaity drifted on an ice floe 1.500 miles ia 196 days before being seed and rescued by the British sealer Tlgre The castaways were then only 100 miles north of Newfoundland Dsoreasa in New Zealand Sheei During the last four years the num- ber of sheep in New ealtLd bmi de- creased by about 4,,Ot For President of General Federation The Colorado Federation of Wom- n's Clubs has sent out formal an- fmuncement that It will present the name of Mrs. John D. Sherman for president of the General Federation of Women's Clubs at the bienniql con- vention In Los Angeles In June of 1924, in accordance with a motion passed unanimously, the members ris- ing In acclamation, at Its annual con- vention In Trinidad. "Colorado," says the Colorado Club Woman, "considers it an honor to pre. sent for the highest office In the gift of the American women one who is known and admired in every stflo In the Union and who has devoted the best years of her life to the advance- ment of women, the strengthening of the club movement and the preserva- tion of the natural beauties and re- sources of the nation." Mrs. Sherman began her club work In the Chicago Woman's club, of which she has been made an honorary. member. Her Colorado membership is in the Estes Park Woman's club. She was recording secretary, 1904-8, and second vice president, 1908-10, of the general federation. Her later work as chairman of the committee on conserva- tion of natural resources and as chairman of the department of applied educa- tion bus made her natlonarly famous. She has also been active as a director In several natiomwlde organizations. Durg the war she served as director of the National War Garden commission and as special assistant dlreetor of the United States School Garden army, in charge of women's organizations. She is the author of a popular manual on parlltmentary law. i ,, ,, ..... ,, m m Count Apponyi Pays America a Visit I i  i H . -- Lt is quite the fashion nowadays for European dignitaries to pay Uncle Sam a vLsIL Count Albert Apponyl, the Hungarian elder statesman and former premier (portrait herewith), is now on a lecture tour In the United Staes upon lnvitatlon of the All- American eommittee of the Institute of International Education. Prof. Os- ear Jaszl, minister of national mlnori, ties under the regime of Michael Karo- lyi, whlch Immediately preceded the Bed dietatorship of Kun Bela, publicly asserts that Count Apponyl Is a representative of the ancienl feudal system In Hungary and i working for an lv, ternational loan t be used for the restoration of the do funcr Hapsburg monarchy. Count Apponyi ls seventy-seven, and six feet three inches tall. He speaks English perfectly and can eve use American slang ; at the peace con- ference he spoke for Hungary in four languages. There is homing of the old man about him, except the fact that he was born in 1846. He says the great danger that he fears is that all Europe will go Bolshevist. ....... la mmmem - = . - = _ - ., , ,r American Woman Restores Hattonchate] ,J,LL, ' | , J , I, , ,, ,, , Frenchmen and Americans met the other day at Hattonehatel, Just north of St. MIhiel, France, to cele- brate the completion of the rebuilding of the village. Hattonchatel is the village where the two forces of Amer- ican troops met when. after working from the east and west, they had driven the German forces from the St. Mlhiel salient in September, 1918. Hattonchatel Is directly on the line In the Toul sector which American troops occupied until the end of the war, after the salient had been taken. The village was qnder constant shell fire because it w'as located on a promontory which was used by the Fnch and the Americans as an ob- servation post. Its forty dwellings were laid in ruins, Miss Belle Skinner of Holyoke, Mass., had spent her summers in Hat- tonchate} before the war and loved the place. So she gave a million dol- lars, more or less, to rebuild the dwellings and the church and town hall: They say that all the dwellings have modern American plumhing and run ning water. i 111 qm I LLJ I I I I I Harvey._ to Leave Court_ of St.. Jame00 --- i ii i i ii I, -- Col. George Brinton McClellan Harvey, American ambassador to the court of St..Tames (portrait herewith), will give. up his posf at the end of the year In accordance with an agreement "l between him and President Harding and carried out by President Coolidge. ] This understanding was reached, It Is stated, before President Harding's Alaskan trip. Colonel Harvey then ['. offered his resignation on the ground of "pressing personal buaness." The ambassadors]Hp to St. James Is ex- " pensive business and there Is the inti- mation that Colonel Harvey has found the post financially burdensome. When Ambassador Harvey was last In the United States on a some- what prolonged leave it was reported that he would resign and take an c- tire part In the coming presidential campaign. However. State department )fficlals limited their announcement to the statement that Mr. Harvey were about to retire and that he would do eo in accordance wlth his understanding with President Harding. Child Resigns as Ambassador to Rome I i i Richard Washburn Child (portrait herewith), American ambassador at Rome, has resigned his post and President Coolidge has accepted his resignation. Mr. Child returned to this country on leave of absence shortly after the acceptance of the reslguatlon was made public. It Is stated that Mr. Child's res|gnatlon was offered to President Harding Just before the Alaska trip and President Coolidge, It IS stated, acted in accordance with an agreement reached between his pre- decessor and Mr. Child. "Presslng per- eonat business- is given as the reason for the resignation. It Is unofficially intimated that he bus found the peat financially burdensome Mr. Child played an Important pert in the campaign which resulted in the election of President Harding. He Is reported to stand well with the government to which he Is accredited. Ambassador Child headed the American delegation sent o the first Lausanne coat t eonelushm el Ce between lNirby  the Are You a Health la Knoxville, with backache,. and bearing paros at bottles of Dr. Pierce's scription gave me such that I continued its use I do believe I could through and raised my I did without the help of Prescription. It always and gave me strength ment. I have, at every recommended it as I this statemenL'..--Mrs. 962yt Broadwa]r. Your health m most yon. ICe easily Start at once tion" and see how np---feel Dr. Pierce, in Buffalo, N. Y., for advice, or ,nd 10 fo tblct, Prefsrs a Mul, "I gives my pre over a hess," maid Uncle ever a mule's faults may glts out on a race track you to bet on him." Your BeauW Leisure Ls the few man gets while his omething else for him You may have bserved fled people, as a rule, keep It. (::OR Stop their in one Dr. _o' s 7Ymo- ia me nute by ro, -.fric6oa ..d inem Zu,ad==re ay Chill Enriches the