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The Woodville Republican
Woodville, Mississippi
Lyft
March 26, 1898     The Woodville Republican
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March 26, 1898
 

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x OreeIan a*z. Virgil oeeaslonall indulged in humor al She expense of his&apos;freind Maecenas. He maJe at one time a pi[gri,uge to the oracle at Iphi, and on his return said to Mae- eeas: "[ was awfutty bored wMte I was away." 'o?" atd" Maecenas, "atld,,what was it that bored yoU, amiens mens," .... 'e augurs, of course," was Virgil's qmek response. This incident goes far to prove the in. ventive genius of the C, reeks and Romans, n even at that early date audits and ts had come into nse.--Detroit Free gOKestlnt m Bemedy, Mrs. Jaggs--I'm at a loss to know what 0 do for my husband; he suffers almost Continually from headaches. "Mrs Naggs--Why don't you try to per- de him to resign. Resigu from what?" Vhy, from the club, of courtm."--Chi. go Evening News. Blood Humors Spring,is the Cleansir)g Season-- Don t Neglect Your Health. VoU Need to Take Hood'8 Sarsa- parilla Now. 8print is the season for cleansing and luewtng. Everywhere aceumulations of WUto are being removed and prepare E for the new Life of another season are gmadn. TMs is the time for cleansing b|ood, Winter has left the blood lm- ImP. Spring Humors, Boils, pimples, eruptions are results. Hood's Sarsaparilla pela all impu dries from the blood and mak tt rich an4 nourisifiag. It builds up the nervous system, overcomes that tired tilng, creates an appetite, gives sweet. iuH'reshing sleep and renewed energy and nr. It cures all spring humor% b0ils, pies and eruptions. s suv%,m o parilla -TJ America's Greatest Medieine $1: six for I C. L Hood & Co,, Lowell, Mass, sre the only pills to take with liood's Sarsaparilla. FRAUD ENJOINED. Decree-- The Famons $50,t Jark (ToJ Deeided--(L F. Med|elDo ompmny, NL Iefe.s J. K. Zollin & o., he frtmduteat nor to ae Zeilia & Co. IS & snl ordered Zeilin & CO. to d liver b (Otroy'ed. In tilL% d{ll, e!ectro- t'-Iz sagraviaga and other pargphcrnali used in |lig oitor of  above uadnes or tl picggtrs 9.  tat Zdlta  co, IY all the & Wttelt hve ttcrtto4 t emptaaat by the ste at ftadateafllabeled paae. ho da, mage  bg complaisant wer, 0,00, . D0<d. ta4 gmn  Co, par ll the , Wlidel immttt to ear:d thoasa n d dollars, io recora Cbea woht, et PPt is Cotton 9 eyery other crop, needs nourishment. TtIE OLD KNOW-NOTttINGS Arp Bays He Was Once One og Them, flartov Sage Tells of tile Duys of Ills First Political Experience-- Was Youot Then and Easily Fooled. Expcrlencc is a good schoolmaster. I ssas ruminating about the schemes and tricks of the politicians who hanker after office and iay memory went back to the old know-nothing party during the 50's, and how the politicians pulled the wont over my eyes and inveigled me in. I was young then and easily fooled. But i was dreadfully in earnest, for I really feared that foreigners were about to take the country and that Roman Catholics wouht soou get in power through the Irish vuc and the Span]sit inquisition would be revived and the devil be turned loose for 1,000 years. And so I joined, and they made ale an officer and gave me a long sword mid I guarded the door and my insignia was a white regalia with the motto: "Part none but Anterieans on guard to- night." I tell you I felt proud and I felt responible for the preservation of political and religious liberty. ] weald trove fought panthers attd wildcats and gorillas. In fact, I wanted t<) fight sonic- thing, for the know-nothing press and know-nothitig orators and know-noth- ing preachers had got us aroused to desperation and I could hardly keep my hauds off an h'ishman when i )net him in the street. Every preacher in town joined anti Brother Cahhvell and Broth- er Stillwell were nntde ctmplains, and they prayed long and earnestly for our country and its lrdlowed institutions. Oh! it was solemn and serious, lhtt one night it was proposed to choose dele- gates to fie to a convention to nominate a candidate for congress and it leaked oat that a mau was to be nominated ho halt no moral standing in the com- munity, but he was rich and hud used his money f!'eety and we began to smell a mice. About tlJat time AlexStephens took ilte field against our order and I never heard such a speech in my life. lie everlastingly lambasted our leaders for trying to fool the people and it(: deuloerats feel as mean as a having fallen into the trap. I really thought I was do- ing God's service in helping good pat- riois to save the eonntry. Cue dark night I told my ife a lie abon having urgent business at my office ttl<.l wonhln't be hack nntil late. very late, and [ went oat sir: miles in the country to an old miHhouse on Silver creek. llalf a dozen officers went along with nte and we instituted a branch lodge np in the garret of the oht Inill and got covered all over with cobwebs and flour, and next momaing mywife got lip first nttd looked at my clothes. She ruminated for a minute and then re- harked: "IIad to go ]o mill last night I see. 1 (lidn'tknow that thefhmrwas out." For some tittle I hvd been ;I sus- poe! wilh her about this rflice business at niffht, for every time a kuow-nothing mc.eting was called little three-cornered red lmpers were seen ou the sitlewalks about towu, and it was noruted aronud that (be know-nothings were to meet that ni_(ht. The next day our wives compared notes jtnd fonnd out that nearly all the men had l)ushtess down- town that night. Can't fool these wom- en. They don't like secret societies no how. A good fnilhful wife doe:m't like anyhiug that gets in between her and her husband. She hus no secrets front hinl and ire ought no! to have any from her. Not long after we were nmrried I joined a secret society, and when she ot to looking over my nnder garments to see if the buttons were all right, she discovered that the buckles were gone, and I conhtn't explain it lo hersatisfac- lion. But site found out Vrom some other %vonlen. nnd whenever l fret a lie%v pair of drawers she asked me if I didn't want the buckles cut off. Well, the know-nothing lmrty tiled early in flu,so parts, for the people found out that it was :t political scheme Iot,'('t into office. Just so lhe politicians ,)'ot into the Farmers" alliance and took charge of it, and they got up an Oeala platform anti a big subtreasury scheme, whereby great warehouses werc to be built I)y the governnmnt in every con- gressional di:triet where the farmers A fertilizer containing nitr(> er,.h] store their cotton and ecru un,] gn, phosphoric acid, and not % teas than 3 of actual 9 ,wll increase the crop and im. i prove the land. Ovr tmoks tell all about the subject. The et free to any farmer. GERMAN KAL1 WORKS, ca Nassau St,, Now oek. FARM, MEMPHIS, TENN. Ogles. 300 Second Street., T. CAINES, Pro;. J.L. KERR, Man gr Standard Bred Poultry, Ducks. per 13. Terrlsrs. YOU WANT THE BE.ST. oats and sorg'bt!nl and potatoes and pumpkins, and draw money on them aml hohl them in tee warehouses nntil the price went np. One of the leaders deela{ed in a poblic speech at Macon that they were going to hohl the cotton vntil it went 1o]5 cents, attd he made the people believe him. and they rolled t:hn into congress by a tidal wave. The nllhmce looked upon hvyers as sus- pects and not fit to hold officenor fltten to get fitten, and so one lawyer sold his Ptw books and burned the bridge be- hind him and joined Gideon's band and swallowed the Ocala platform, tub- treasury aud all, and the eonfldlng peo- ple roiled him into congress. But he suffered a relapse in due time, at((1 bought more law books, and now the last condition of that mar is worse than the first. Another lawyer S'allowed the platform, bones attd skin. and ran for congress on it ;rod got awfully bealeu and has never been elected since to troy otliec by the people, and to my opiniou never wit] be. It is jus* as old Abe Lincoln said: "You may fool all of the people sonic of the time, and yon ntay fool some of the people all the time, but you can't fool all the people all tile time." Now. the common lmoi)le , the farmers and mechanics attd toilers, are gener- ally nnuspeeting and crednlaus, and when a smart, shrewd politician talks :',weet and nice to them they are inclined Is believe him. but what htwyer of any pretensions or respectability ever be- lieved m the Ocala platform or the sub- trcas,ry scheme or "'something bet- ter?" Of course any statesman who was fit to hold ofllee knew that it was utterly impra(-/.cable, and would bar,k- rapt the K,,ve,'nment to build ware- honses and ndvallee nloney i)n crops, but it was a hobby on whieh to ride iuto office, and foo]ing the peo]de was of no eonse(jnenee. No, l wonh]n't trust any man wits wnuhl do it or has done it. Anothtr way to fool the people is to form little secret rings in every eouuty divide out the county offices, and each ring man must get his henchmen to be at the eotrthotise on eonvon day and help elect de|eUfm ;wio be. tong to the ring. The eas 3,-, nn- suspecting people don't know anything at3ut it, and before they knw it the whle county iscomraitted to a lllan the e * + Feopt, d;dn t want. The men who con- trol are smart and they are politically tlnscrltpltlous, and all together they make a powerful cmnbine, and it was the knowledge and memory of these ntethods that provoked Col. Candler's letter, lie wrote jtmt what xye have all been feeling ever since Gen. Evans' de- feat. lie expressed lny sentiments, and I like it belier and better at each read- inS. Now lay on MacDuff--nobody is hurt, except some "honl Mot qui real y pense," which means "it is the hit dog who yelps," or words to that effccl. It is no insult to those who acceptccl office nnder Gee. Atkinson, for he doesn't own but one office. The others are public trusts in his keeping, and lie has no moral right to pay private political debts with them. It is his duty to select the best men for the places, regardless of who they voted for. The oft]cos belong to the people, and it is a prostitution of power to fill them for personal advantage, But professional politicians all do it from president down, and this is polit- ical corruption. One day in my indig- nntion 1 remarked in a crowd: "We are a nation of political tricksters," and an oltlcc-seeker close by wbispered: "Call no names, Bill; call no names." lhtt the people are ready for honest methods, and they have a standard- bearer on whose name and fame there is no blot. Let him write again if he wants to, and let his bauner have on it: "Reform in political methods and econ- omy in administering the government." Ah'eady there are rings forming to de- feat him, rings by the men who con- trol. and they are desperately in ear- nest, for the scepter of their office is departing. The issue is plain. It is the politicians against the people. We want cleaner methods both in state and coun- ty and tannic]pal elections. Augusta and Marietta and Cartersville have re- cently degraded their townships b/ corruption at the polls, and, like small- pox, the pestilence is spreading. But we shall see what we shall see. The conbat deepens. On, ye bravel The one-eyed plowboy has nothing to take back or qualify, and the people will stand by hinl from Tybee to Possum Trot and from Possum Trot to Tugalo. --Bill Arp, in Atlanta Constitution. BIRTH OF THE WATER LILY. ludlan l,egeud of the lealllog tar %Vhieh Beea/oe a Fio,vcr, From the hvilight skieS a pale star looked down wilh wistful lovging upon the beautifnt green earth. All about it its brother and sis}er stats were bright and happy and in hands sported logether upon the measureless shining plain in which they liver, or eolleeted thickly along the bread road which is the pathway of ghosts (the milky way) in their journey to the far-off country of souls, the spimen-kah-wi-u, the fair land above. Butthisonestarwasalone in heaven and sorrowful with longing. It turned away from the soft light of he moon when she walked forth adown the broad heavens and shuddered and hid its face when the sun, the bright heart of the sky. flung wide gates for 1he bcaulifnl wabtm, lhe smilingdawn- maidens. ].'airer under the ligbt of the young nloous or the bright shimmer nf the sun seemed the lovely earth thau all besides, and lhe still greeu meadows Ihe cool waving forest, the blue rivers. more blissful than the star-lodges set in the sky. Every night at twilight the star saw ]Is pale mntge reflected in a tranquil lake set round with green rushes, and mighty forest trees with wide arms interlaced, and it looked with envy upon th naumgoosh (trout) and lhe sly keuozha (pickerel) leaping in the sun- light or flashing in the moonlight ; npou the dainda (frog) culling among the reeds and rushes, and upon the bright wa-wa-tais-sa (I|ghtnng bug) flitting throngh the dark,ass above the mur- muring water. Every night the loon called to the echo hidig upon the shore nnd the whippoorwill attswcred clear and sweet in the purple distance. The wild geese stretched their lazy flight across the quiet surface, the plover piped from the sedges, the owl booted afur in he lonely forest. All tlu'ough lhe long months of the moon the star looked ,down upoll the fair Rake lying tranquil with waves splashing in soft undertone of all hap- py things; saw the sweet blossoms in the bright Moon of Flowers (May) creep down to its borders; saw the gentle fawns in the Month of the Deer (July) come trooping down to drink of its co waters, until now in the gray month of the Beaver (November) lhe s!ar had ffrnwn wan and more pale, breathing ]Is life away in sighs of long- ing. Then the great Mas|er of Life. Taren- ya-wa-ga, iIohler of the tleavcns, saw with compassion and gave the star his wish. because of his love which keeps oil things within the circle of his arm, Slowly, gently, through the purple twi- light, when Gush Kewan, the darkness, and Wrong, the gentle spirit of sleep, hovered in lhe air, the star came drift- ing downward, floating, drifting, full- ing from the far plains of heaven, the fair land above. Tbrough the forest a band ofhufers came laden with game. Silently but quicMy they traverse(! in unerring cer- tainty the trackless solitudes. They knew that just beyond, not far away, lhe twinkling fires of their wigwams gleamed redly through the darkness, fleming upo the laughing children at play upon the smooth tnrf about the lodges, flashing from the glittering ornaments of the women as they moved abont preparing he evening repast, and shining redly upon the grave faces of |he braves and elders ss they sal smok- ing the eahnnet and listening to the voice of the Che-nee-ga-ha, the story teller, as he sung of their deeds of valor, All but one of the hunters hastened on- ard, seeing all this awaiting them at thu end of their wearisome march. But he. the Dreamer. the one who saw where there was naught, hz, lool, ing skyward, beheld the star falling swift- ly through the darkness with all its paleness gone, ttanling in ruddy splen- dor across the sky. "See," he says, "it is the Wakendendas. the meteorI" Then they turned to look iu wonder and the wonder grew. as the star flamed downward, nntil it rested at length upon the bosom of the s/umbering lake, when,lo! straightway tt blossomed forth an eartii flower, wittfMowly unfolding silvery petals and heart of gold, lying locked in blessed rest and peace upon the softly whispering water. Thus was born the beautiful O-kun. d-moge, the water lily.---Detroit Journal. It Is HaDpAI, smaJi, The proportion of blind people in t world is 800 to ever 1,000,000. THE TABLES TURNED, Th roe little girls in a row, oh, oh! Three little ghls In a row; And one saucy face is hidden by curls; And one in her hand her sunbonnet twirls; And all are wee, saucy midgets of girls-- Three little girls in a row. Three little boys near by, oh, my! Three miseievous boys, my eyet And one cried "Bah!" with a terrible shout ; And two cried "Boo!" as they all rushed out And put those three little girls to rout With their strange and startling cry. "Boo hoe!" cried the girls, in alarm: "boo hoe. Oh! what shall we do. we do?" "To he!" cried the boyso as they ran; -to he, Such fun as this YOU never did see." And they danced and they shouted and laughed in glee, And made a great hullabaloo. "Oh, hot" cried three mammas wit]: switches; "oh, he! There's misehtef afoot, we know." And they captured those boys in the wink of an eye And out of their Jackets they made the dust fly, And, merciful me, how those urchins did cry Such a s3rrowful time. oh, hot --Arthur J. BurdicPin Chicago Record. AN INTELLECTUAL DOG. He Call Spell Sev(/ral %Vords oud KOOV*'I MOlly Playing Cords. l)ob is a snudl, well-bred fox ter- rier, who, besldes being an excellen ratter, is distinguished for his intel- lectual aecoinplishments. Ite can spell reveral words of three letters, includ- ing his own name. A word isealledont and he picks out the letters as they are lcpeated to him; or, if he happens to be in good form and keen oa his les- son, it is only necessary to say the word. and ]te puts his foot on each let- ter iu its order. Ite also "does Lady Jane Grey"--]. e.. hqs his head cut off and then dies--makes a bow. knows ace of spades, king of hearts and ten SALUTING THE QUEEN. of clubs, the horse, the elepl,'lnt and the tg'cr, a napoleon and five-franc piece, red, white and blue; and when he is asked: "What color is Bob?" putshis foot upoffwhite, l/e reads the newspuper with his spectacles ou and does it number of small tricks, such its shutting the door, jumping over hatids atul catching a bail. At this last achievement lm is very adept atttl, indeed, as good as an), dog cf his size. ,lob sits n t) und salutes of his own accord wt.ea he wants anytlfing and his most taking trick is considered to be saluting the queen's photograph and the union jack, for heisa British dog. lie is not very fond of spelling and will solnetimes, in hopes of getting off it, do another trick instead. What be really loves to do is to hunt for small bits of hard toast hldden under the carpet nr the rug, which he always finds at once. IIe recognizes pietl!res of birds and cats, and once sat up and pointed at a very flue etching of a lyre bird and golden pheasant on a drawing- room wall. Ile is afraid ofnothingand was on one occasion wild to attack a great bear in a cage. lie is a traveled d*g nnd understands French and Ger- mtul as well as ]','nglis]l. As a wind-up the following anecdote shows that he has a kin,1 heart. On arriving xxith his mistress at a country house he was introduced to a terrier who ahvays lived in the t:lable yard and was never al- lowed to come into the house. When Bob had l:artaken of his own afternoon tea be sutldenly disappeared from the dawing-rootn, but speedily returned. wagging his tail and looking behind him to encourage lhe flog from the sta- bles, whom he had been to fetch, in order thai lie, too, mtght have a share in some of the good things. It was, however, misplaced Mndness, as the unfortunate torT]or who had been led into temptation soon discovered. A STRANGE SIGHT. ltawk Devours a Sparrow o4t a Tele- graph Pole. A sparrow hawk with an.eagle eye did a very neat piece of worl(the other day right in the heart of the city. Where he came from or when he ar- rived no one could tell. He was perched eahnly on the top of a telegraph pole and had in his claws a fluttering Eng- lish sparrow. With the sunlight glistening on his brown wings and hundreds of pedes- trlans staring at him. the daring hawk calmly sat there and put hmself on the outside f the sparrow. Wherever the hawk came from. he must have been hungry, for he did not leave even a featller of the sparrow. If he did not eat the feathers and claws of his victim, he must have had a pocket to put them in, for not one feather fell to the ground. Grasping the pole with one claw and holding his victinl with the other, he made his dinner as unconcernedly as if he had been miles away in sonic de- serted wood instead of in the heart of a big city. It may be that the hawk was tired of country fare and longed for a change of diet, or that he knew lie would be safe in the city, wlmre the law forblds the discharge of firearms. At arty rate, ],e created a sensation as he masticated, if hawks masticate, his midday meal. and hundreds of passers- by stopped and gazed in wonder as he put the sparrow away. His meal over, the hawk sat on the pole for an hour or more and basked in the sunlight w]lile he let hisd|stive organs 'et in their work on thorough morsel he had eaten.--Atlant Ogat i- tuth)m   + o. The newsiars a]read,y discovered thls 'ar namber 27. -- : . FIRE GRENADE AGEN2 r FOOLED. The Proprletor of the Ilotel Lost a Good Customer. The proprietor of a suburban hotel has a sou whose sense of hunmr seems likely to re- sult in the destruction of the business of the house. Recently one of the guests was ]e traveling represeutative of a fire grenade manufacturing house. The grenades are green glass bottles filled with a compomM that is said to smother fire. They are hur ed into the ('enter of the blaze, and, bursting with the force of the impact render an engine and a line of hose nnnccossary. The lire grenade agent remained several days at the hotel and advertised that before his departm'e he wouht give a grand exh bi- tten of the ett]eiency of the green glass bet ties. Early in the evening when the exhi- bition was advertised to take place a large and curious crowd gathered in front of the ] hotel. The agent caused a fire to bc built in the street, boxes and barrels beiug piled many feet high. After seeing that the fire was roariog merrily the agent made his ap- pearanee bearing an armful of fire grenadcs He hurled the bottles one after another into the blazing pile, but instead of smothering the flames the grenades seemed to have the opposite effect. The fire blazed Ul) nearly twice its former height, and the surround- ing buildings began to shed their paint, while the crowd drew back from the fierce heat. The agent was the most astonished man in the group until he ]earned that the son of the hotel proprietor had extracted lhe gren- ades from the sample case. poured out the contents andthen filled them with gaso- line. The crowd soon found out hat the grenades had been "doctored," and ye ]s of derision nearly drowned the protests of the agent as he attempted to persuade the hotel proprietor that the house shouht pay the costs of the indulgence of the small boy's humor.--Chieago I lmcs-tterald. can be driven in or driven out. Dr. Ayer's Sarsaparilla drives disease out of the blood. Many medicines suppress disease cover it but don't cure it. Dr. Ayer's Sarsaparilla cures all diseases originating in impure blood by purifying the blood itself. Foul blood makes a foul body. Make the blood pure and the body will be sound. Through the blood Dr. Ayer's Sarsaparilla cures eczema, totter, boils, eruptions, humors, rheumatism, and all scrofulous diseases. "Dr. Ayer's Sarsaparilla was recommended to me by my physictan as a blood purifier. When I began taking it I had risings or boils all over my body, but one bottle cured me. I consider Dr. Ayer's Sarsaparilla the best blood medic]us made."--BONNER CRAIPr, Wesson, Miss. 00e00/bet's Samara HYDnotio Vtron ders. AN OVERWORKED BRAIN. :No one need to go to Paris now to seeall that is marvelous in hypnotism. In the From the Record, Plerceton, Ind. hypnotic wards of many hospitals of this Determined to rise in his chosen profes- country are hypnotic subjects that a mere sion as an educator, Ernest Kemper, of g!ance, it is said. throws them into the Pierce(on, /ud., overtaxed himself mentally and physically, lie was ambitious, his mint1 was ahvays on his work. From earls, morn until late at night he continually pored over his hooks. "Burned the candle at both ends." Few persons, even witi the strongest con- stitutions, can keep up under such a straiu. In addition to his studies, Mr. l,:cmper was teaching a school some three miles from hi, home. Finally, his excessive study and the exposure of'going to and from school in all kinds of weather undermincd his health. lie was taken to his bed with pueumoma and his overworked brain ahnost collapsed. For several weeks he was serioush, ill. Catarrh had taken root in his s{-stem and his mind was iu 0 delicate condhion, lie -witWas sent to Colorado where he spent three nmnths hout receiving any bone- )/" ''," 'll . , fit. Then ,I"\\;'W' \\;\ '',' " s p e c ialist t / ,W  , from ('eve /----'k--'///// land treated him [ 'i}t,a\\;][[l[//] w i t hout avai!, ll/[[ and then a hospP I Il-J I \\; Ill tried, butallabso- lllll/I/ I\\;kll lutely without II/ Ill I /\\;7)\/I benefit. Finally []J Ill   his physician rec- - /)  ommeuded Dr. -; Villiams' Pin k Pills for Pa le I'eo- Ore(study. ple, and from the first box he began to improve. \\;Vhen he had taken nine boxes he was completely cured. This fantous blood and nerve medicine had accomplished what all his former expensive lreatment failed to ae- couiplish. Mr. ,,:sniper says his catarrh has entirely left him; lie is st]'ong again and weighs nine pouuds more than he ever did. I|e gives the pills the entire crcdit, lle is starting teaching again and feels al)nndantly able to continue the work. To prow" ihat the above is true in every respeet, Mr. Kent- per tnalces an affidavit m's follows: Subscribed and sworn to before me tlds the 10th day of September, 1897. R. ]. \\;VATT. Notary Public. We doubt if these pills have au equal in all the range of medieine, for I)uilding up a run down and debilitated system. A traiuet IgSue. Cholly Ahtless--I nevah change my mind. Itis Uncle--For the same reason l pre- sume, that you never change a seven-dollar bill.--Ainslee's Magazine. Itow's This ' We offer One Huudred Dollars Reward for any ease of Catarrh that (.an not be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. ,L Cheney & Co., Props., Toledo, O. \\;Ve the undersigned, ha=e known F. J. Cheney for the last 15 years, and betieve him l;erfeetly honorable in all business transactions and financially able to carry out any obligations made by their firm. X\\;"est & Truax, XVholesalc Druggists. To- ledo, O. Welding, Kinnan & Marvin, Vholesale |)resists, Toledo, Ohio. ]Aall's Catarrh Cure is taken interns,iv, acting directly upon the htood and mueos urfaces of the svsleln. Price 75c. per hot- tie. Sold by all Druggists. Testimonials free. Hall's Family Pil/s are the best. The mind requires not, like an earthen vessel, to be kept full; convenient food and ailment only will flame it with a desire of knowledge, and an ardent love of truth.-- Plutarch. Pres. MeIKinIey Vs. Free Silver. A battle of giants is going to take place this suunner on 30,000 farms in America, not in talk or votes, but in yields. Salzer's ne potato marvels are named as above, and he offers a price for the biggest potato yield, also $400 in gold for suitable name for his corn (17 inches long) and oat prodigies. Only seedsmen in America growing grasses, clovers and farm seeds and selling potatoes at $1.50 a barrel. The editor nrges you to try Salzer's Northern-grown seeds, and to SEND THiS NOTICE WITH 1(0 CTS. IN TAMPS to Johu A. Sa]zer Seed Co., La Crosse, V/is., for ll new farm seed samples, worth $10.00, to get a start, and their big catalogue. K 6 Don't run from a bore; he is probably keeping you from boring somebody else.- Chicago Record. We can see no sense in having shoe strings long enough to reach clear around one's legs.--Washington Democrat. On the way back from a woman's funeral, some one m some of the carriages speculates on how soon it will be wh0n the husband marries again.--Atchison Globe. Americans wil| never be known as a thrifty nation until they are as careful at saving money as they are of the odds and ends m bureau drawers.--Atchison Globe. No matter how well educated folks are, if they omit the common civilities of life they will have few friends.--Washington Demo- crat. A man who keeps'a - horse in town, and takes care of it. smells worse than a man who smokes an old pipe.--Atchison Globe. The preacher who-knows most is not necessarily the one who preaches longest. V/ashington Delaocrat. It is difficult to understand  sober man reciting Burnes' poetry, but the job is still more difficult when a man gets drunk in celebrating Burnes' birthday, and attempts to recite his poetry.--Atchison Globe. "Poor Waggs! tie was a most genial soul." "Yes, indeed he was. The only thing he ever took seriously was the cold that carried him off."Tit-Bits "Wagner is not so bad. after all." "Why ?" "They say he has newr written anything that can be wbistled."--Chicago Record. A Reasonable Supposition.--' t otter ! al- mer is going,, ,,re, build a home that wdl" cost $3,000,000. ] hat looks as if the phunbing was included."--Clevelaud Plain Dealer. There is nothing new under the sun. [n an]cent times people pitched their tents and now they pitch gravel roofs.--Chicago Daily e all pretend to like peop,e who are out- spoken, yet people who tetlus unlleasant thing we rarely ever like.--Washington Demberat. Bones--"Williams is bound to get on in l life. He has a wilt of hts own." Morgan-- 1 "Yes, but he wouldn't mind be]as men. ] tioned in somebody elsrs,"--Tit-Bite, trance state. But in order to overcome that obstinate kidney trouble, the persist- ent use of tlostetter's Stomach Bitters is necessary. Use it also systematically for malarial, bilious, dyspeptic, rheumatic and nervous diseases. Useless. Uncle--It's beeu a very hard year, and I've had to contract a lot of debts! Ne flaew--\\;Vhv, that's too bad uncle, for I md aot of remedy-made debts that I could have turned over to you! --ttumoristiche B]aetter. Fits stopped free aml permanently cured. No fits after first day's use of Dr.'Klinc's Great Nerve Restorer. Free $2 trial bottle & treatise. Dr. Kline, 933 Arch st., Phila., Pa. People who think they are misunder- stood are really understood too well.Chi- cage Record. Satisfoetlon Guaranteed. Stae Manager--Mr. lleavy, you will take the part of Ahmzo. Mr. IIeavv--I have never seen this play Do you thitk I cau please the audience in that part? "hmnenselv. You die in the first act." --N. Y. '0,'eckly. The speculators who bull the market often have to bear the losses.--Chieago Daily News. Hale's IIoney of Horehound and Tar re- lleves whooping cough. t'ike's Toothache Drops Cure in one minute. There is a politeness of the heart, and it is allied to love. It produces the nmst agree- able politeness of dentcanor.--Goethe. Their Easy rllne. "o wondcr." said the Cornfed Philoso- pher. "that people lived so long in the old ]:iblical da,,'. 'J'hev <li(ln't l;now anything about bacteria."--ldianapolis 5ournal. ...................... After six ye:vcs' suffering. I was cured by [ko's Cure.--Mary Thomson, 29 Ohio Ave., Allegheny, Pa., March 19, '94. The principles of acoustics are sound doc- trincs.--Chicago Daily News. Money Wasted. Ethel--They say it costs Perry Van :Noodle $10,00"0 a year to live. -. Penelooe--Dea reel--then wha does h do" it for :.-Puck. %Vanted--Agents to Sell Murat ltal- atead'a Great Cuba Book; All about Cuba, Spain and \\;rar; great ex- citement; everyone buys it; one agen sold Eighty-seven in one day; another made $13.00 in one hour. 600 pages magnificent illustrations; photographs, etc.; low price; weguarantee the most liberal terms; freight paid; 20 days credit; outfit free: send 6 two- cent stamps to pay postage. THE BIBLE HOUSE, :-'24 Dearborn St., Chicago, 11I. Their Easy Time. "No wonder," said the Cornfed Phi]oso. pher, "that people lived so long in the old Bihlical days. They didn't know anvthin about bacteria."--Indianapolis Journal. In the advertisement of the John A. Salzel Seed Company, La Crosse, Wis., a few weekl since, the price of potatoes was inadvertent. ly placed at $1.05 per barrel; this should be $1.50 per barrel. XVe advise sending 5 eent postage for Salzer's catalogue. Activity is only beautiful when it is holy; that is to say, when it is spent in the service of that which passeth not away. Amiel's Journal. Don't you Sleep? Does your IIead Ache? Somnifi Caffein cures instantly. All drug. gists. 25 cts. 1)r. Paxton Medical Co., 199& 201 River St., Troy, N. Y. The man who regulates his wife generally has one daugiter who can regulate him, --Chicago Record. To Cure n Cold In One Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund money if it fails to care. 25e. I-Iow many women do $40 worth of work at a mssionary dinner for about 75 eeut ro 1 Y p fit.--V ashington Democrat: Rupture. Sure cure. :Boo k free. Write for it toS.J Sherman, Specialist, Mt.Vernou,N.Y. A man who does not know how to learn from his mistakes turns the best school- master out of his life.--Henry Ward Beecher. There is no rhyme for silver, but it jlngle with gold very nicely.--Chicago Daily News. RrS' PINKttAM CONQUERS BACKACttE. FOUr Women Who Owe Their Present HapDtness to Lydl  Plmk- ham's Vegetable Oompotmd. DEAR MRS. PIlqKH&M:--rhen I wrote to you last June, I was not able to do anything. I suffered with back- ache, headache, bearinff-down pains, pains in my lower limbs, and ached all through my body. lIenstruations were very painful. I was almost a skeleton. I fol- lowed your advice and now am well and fleshy, and able to do all my own housework. I took medicine from a physician for over a year, and it did not do me a particle of good. I would advis all suffering women to write to Mrs. Pinkham. She will answer all letter.  promptly, and tell them how to cure those aches and pains socom- men to women.--Mrs. C. L.WlXl% larquez. Texas. I think it is my duty to write and let you know what your medicine has done for me. For two years I suffered with female weakness, bearing-down pains, headache, backachc, and too frequent oecurrcnce of the menses. I was always complaining. My husband urged me to try your Vegetable Compound, and I finally did. I have taken three bottles and it has made me feel like a dif- ferent woman. I advise every woman that suffers to take your medicine and be cured.--Mrs. GT LICHTY, 612 S. Prince St., Lancaster, Pa. I had suffered for over two yearn with backache, headache, dizziness, nervousness, falling and ulceration of the womb, leucorrhcea, and about every ill a woman could have. I had tried doctors, but with no success, and it seemed as though death was the only relief formc. AfterusingfivebottlesofLydiE. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and four packages of Sanative Wash, I am well. Have had no more pain, womb trouble, backache or headache.24ra. Cr.&LX0I& l::[2kLPIlq, Cream Ridge, N. J. Before taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound I was afflicted with female complaints go that I could hardly walk. My back ached terri- bly, in fact, I achcd all over. Was not able to raise myself up some of the time. I had no appetite and wan go nervous that I could hardly sleep. I have taken but two bottles of your Compound and feel like another person, can now eat and sleep to perfection, in fat, am perfectly well.--r& Smi IcCUZ,UQ, Adlai, W. Va. Idla IL Plnkham'sVeetable Comp0und;AW0ma's Reme for Woman'sllls "WELL DONE OUTLIVES DEATH." YOUR MEMORY WlLk SHINE IF YOU USE SAPOLIO  $1.50 tPOTATOES . l,arwet Seed POTATO set*wetS iu Amerlea. ) The "ITsral New-Yorker" tve* 8ALZWR'8 EARLIgT s letd of464 bue&el pe sere. Prles dirt eheSl Our tat SESD S00K, ! ! Faro Seed 81tmples, worth S| 0 to get a a(SH, far 10. and thl* = ..... . x* ox=t -'e)iNDYOU lble ONA POSTAL CfRI) w wiu. smovov ot | moc DAVIS LONG STAPLE GOTTON SEED, ILLUSTRATED CATAIaGUE FREE -' Bushel, I; IO bushels, $7.0; ton, $3. REI00TIN00ARMS CO. worl.', bals ,,on aad Toa.es- see Centennial bale won $50 premtum. I.W[re_X.v, NEWHAVeN, Q+ DAVIS BR08.. t : Bailey, Tenn, [ WIt//MAOHINl!RY--HoroSteamsndGasoillle TENTS, AWNINGS o=. Wagon and Horse Dovers, tEMPHI$, A. K.--F 1699 + you mll